While it looks like we will be in Krakow until Tuesday waiting for Mabels biopsy results, we continue to explore Krakow and on our third attempt managed to eat out at Zaczyn vegan bakery.
Its tiny, only does a couple of freshly made options (a bun or bread with spread), but what it does it delicious. We both had the plum brioche bun but I was lusting over the bread and spread when I saw it…we might have to go back. I also liked that they advised Mark against putting milk in his coffee as it would ruin the coffee. A quality brew is best served black.
Happily fueled we continued our walk to the Kościuszko Mound which is made up of soil from different areas of Poland. Come on manx friends tell me this doesn’t remind you of Tynwald Hill!
By the time we got back to the van we had been out for three hours and the pups were knackered…well two of them were. Our Duracell puppy has unlimited energy 🤣
I’m in full soup making mode at the moment – a huge perk of the colder weather. With bellies full of spicy tomato soup Mark and I ventured to the poster museum, which is really more of a shop but did have some nice designs.
Playing on my mind all day was my final meeting call with my nutrition/fitness coach this evening. Since completing my marathon I’ve slipped further and further off the bandwagon and last night I had contacted him in tears that yet again I’d entered self sabotage mode and undone all the hard work of previous weeks. You can probably tell from the blogs I’ve been eating all the cake and skipping workouts 🙈
This led Mark and I to have a long discussion about why I have such low confidence and self worth when it comes to how I look. Its been something I have always struggled with and usually I can just avoid thinking about it. However today is the end of my program and instead of feeling happy with myself I felt disappointed. Having reached my goals early in 9 weeks rather than 12 I have spent the last three weeks unravelling my new positive eating habits by binge eating (even while doing a mindful eating course!). Its so hard for Mark to understand as he doesn’t see me in the way that I see myself. He is much more positive, and self assured.
Ultimately my coach thinks I may have been suffering a little impostor syndrome, where I don’t feel worthy of the success I’d had. This being despite me choosing my goals, implementing new habits and achieving so much as a result.
It also seems that once I’d done the marathon (the marathon was a 12month goal and I surprised everyone, myself included), my goals no longer lined up so I wasn’t working towards anything concrete. Its also easier to reach for cake and comfort eat than tackle the route causes of my poor self image.
But I have to thank both Dean and Mark, they have picked me up again. Mark always supports me in everything I do (both sensible and mad), and will help me any way he can. Dean has helped me develop new goals, motivated me to continue the habits I enjoy and recommended a great book about self image (Psyco-Cybernetics). Until I’m earning again I will have to go it alone, but I hope to work with him again in the future and highly recommend (Dean Myers – Primal Tribe).
This rollercoaster of emotions is just part and parcel of the journey. Each day I work at bettering myself both inside and out ❤
SofaWolves 