SofaWolves

211 – Head wind…

Mark is rather pleased I’m back running again as it means he can enjoy a leisurely stroll with the older pups and I can attempt to tire our youngster out. This morning we went on a glorious 5 mile run, and I honestly expected him to be tuckered out by the end but nope, he was still play fighting and being a menace. Mark was convinced we had been hiding out in a cafe instead 🤣

After a coffee refuel and some coursework we decided we should likely progress further down the coast and opted for the affluent town of Denia.

What we hadn’t realised was there is a weather warning for gale force winds and that lovely warm weather we had travelled south for is nowhere to be seen. Indeed the van is rocking away so it’s a good thing neither of us suffer motion sickness.

We had a wander around, not realising the majority of shops/cafes were closed until 4pm, so at first we were worried we had entered a ghost town. However after a cuppa everywhere opened again and the town felt more alive. There is a huge marina and a couple of random sculptures. They are obviously used to English tourists as a number of the restaurants had English names.

We discovered a brilliant health shop with every possible vegan food…but wow the prices were obscene €6 for a tin of jack fruit! We bought a ginger cake, but will stick to lidl for our main shop (I really hadn’t realised how extensive their vegan range was before travelling).

Tonight Mark is braving the elements to hopefully find a pub to watch the football, while I study and try to wrap the dogs xmas presents (found cheap paw patrol paper lol).

Its definitely duvet and hot chocolate weather, and we are expecting to stay up late for the uk election results. Never before has tactical voting been considered so important. It feels like a crucial vote to protect our NHS, the environment, public services and basic morals…things that have suffered greatly while the focus has been on the nation dividing Brexit issue 😞

210 – Why are we so hard on ourselves?

A lot of you will know I’ve taken this time away as a good opportunity for some self care. My identity and confidence have always been tightly tied up with my job and while that works superficially, it’s really not ideal, as has become strikingly obvious.

I sold my business to buy our campervan and enjoy this amazing opportunity to travel with my family, however both Mark and I soon commented that we felt we had left our lives and identities behind.

We might have ideal visions of how we would like to be…and I’ve instigated a whole host of actions, habits, and courses to work towards my health and fitness goals. Indeed my fitness and nutrition coach got me closer than ever and really helped structure my day and give me some life skills for positive, healthy living. Of these, meditation is cemented as a morning ritual with my completing it every day for 4 months, and I love it.

Except the rest fell apart. Despite hitting my goals and surpassing some I wasn’t mentally in the right place to continue and in my final weeks with him, I self sabotaged, binge ate, and left increasingly upset and desperate messages. He suspected I had imposter syndrome – having achieved all I had so quickly, I was now sabotaging myself as I felt I didn’t deserve it.

Realising I couldn’t afford to keep him, and he perhaps hadn’t clocked soon enough what I was doing and thus hadn’t steered me back on track, I fell deeper down a hole and have not managed to climb out since. I half heartedly try, but having invested so much and then self sabotaged…its like my demons were proved right…they knew I’d ultimately fail…and I have…or have I?

Today I spent all morning working through my confidence building course, I’m trying to tackle the root causes. Part of it was about signature style and how what you wear gives an impression to others of who you are. We are visual people, we can’t help but make first impressions. When I ran the art gallery I was always in expensive shoes/dresses with nice hair and make up. As a dog groomer I looked like I’d been dragged through a furry hedge backwards but my clients knew it was because I’d get into any position I could to calm their pup, and it didn’t matter if they climbed in my hair or licked off my make up. I looked like a dog person lol

It ran through the rose tinted, photoshopped lies of the media, how stores have vastly varying sizes and how it’s best to select things that fit well, suit your body shape rather than worry about the size and that match the style you most like to present. It sounds sensible, and makes sense, there is no need to beat myself up for not looking like….

Checking the guide I discovered my new measurements made me a rectangle (partly down to my eating everything and partly down to losing one boob to weight loss – the other stayed, so I’m now lopsided, with a lower waist:bum:hip ratio). I rather wish the two given examples of celebrity rectangles weren’t Cameron Diaz and Kiera Knightley…both in bikinis sporting 6 packs. Erm I’m more of a tunnocks caramel rectangle 🤣

Still having failed to fix my only pair of jeans and feeling brave Mark encouraged me to pop into Zara for some jeans that fit. I foolishly picked up two pairs in the size I’d been the last time I went shopping and in the changing room desperately tugged and jumped to get my thighs and arse in them…the zip was blatantly not going up.

So sheepishly I popped my head out and asked Mark if he can find any blue jeans the next size up…or maybe even two sizes up. He hates shopping but realising I hate it more he nips back to the jeans table and dutifully brings back a few pairs.

Roll forward 3 minutes and I’m silently sobbing in the changing room, as the reality once again whacks me in the face. I’ve gone up two dress sizes…I’ve completely undone all my previous hardwork. I hate shopping, I hate how I look, and despite the confidence course I feel like crap. I have no choice but to buy the ‘flab’ pants, as I’ve just proved I’m far too big for any of my old clothes.

Trying to compose myself I walk out, but I’m a puffy eyed monster and Mark noticing gently squeezes my arm to try and comfort me. He offers to buy them and I dash out of the shop in tears and hide outside ashamed.

As it happens H&M is next door and centre stage in the window is a lovely long floaty white sequin skirt teamed with a white oversize jumper. My magpie nature is drawn to it and I hover. Its totally impractical, can you imagine the muddy dog prints on it.

Ok I’m being ridiculous, I need tights and a scarf as both my existing have holes in and perhaps a new jumper. Let’s brave another shop, it can’t be as bad as jean shopping. Clutching a couple of warm jumpers I also check the sale rail drawn to a stunning red dress, and of course pick up the sequin skirt. The red dress is a smaller size than the jeans I bought and is miles too big, the sequin skirt is very snug but I can do up the zip and the jumpers are oversize so my mum would have had to have bred with an orangutan for the arms to be the right length on me. Still it’s a case in point.

Seriously…why put myself through this ridiculous emotional rollercoaster?! Just as my course said, the shops haven’t got their s**t together when it comes to sizing, they are global companies expecting a size to fit regardless of height, build, body shape. They don’t care if you cry in the changing room. That little size tag is not a secret key to confidence.

I sometimes envy my pole friends, who come in all shapes and sizes…until they let slip a criticism of themselves and I instinctively rally a compliment, hating that they are worrying unnecessarily, they are all beautiful.

I realise we all have niggles and things we want to change. These niggles are often only things we see in ourselves, with friends and partners oblivious…they just see ‘us’ and love all of it. Mark’s currently in the dubious position of loving my mosquito bitten legs…all 38 bites…and the numerous others elsewhere.

So while my confidence course might be marked complete…its evidently a much longer journey, and one I share with a lot of people. I’m having to find my identity in myself, rather than though my job title. I’m floundering some what but I’m still trying and learning more about myself each day. I love food, I’m actually rather fond of ‘flab’ (my longstanding affectionate name for my pizza/cake fueled tummy), and my goals were meant to be about fitness…not scales or dress sizes. I can grow my confidence in positive ways.

209 – Valueing Nature

Last night I had less than 2 hours sleep. Insomnia is not something I usually struggle with but Id evidently napped too long; even my sleep meditation failed to send me off. The unexpected benefit of this, was that at 3am an old school friend spotted I was awake and called me for what resulted in my sneaking out of the van, to potter about outside for a two hour catch up (she has a young child, with no consideration of time).

On returning Mark and the pups were baffled and I dashed straight into bed to place my icey feet under Mabel, and lured Ernest closer to steal his warmth. 50mins later my 6am alarm went off and I groaned refusing to wake.

Thus today I’ve been in slug mode. I’ve researched runs from the comfort of my bed…thinking about activity but not progressing far enough to get my trainers on.

We stayed by the beach, walking the pups, read lots, ordered ‘el pan marron’ from the bakery and embraced a depressing litter pick – 3 bags from a small area and a seemingly endless supply of lollipop sticks, tampon applicators, and bottle tops. It’s such a shame to see such extensive rubbish washed up on the shore.

This evening I’m contemplating a bodge meal from random ingredients or going out for paella.. .hmm I wonder lol

208 – Running for chocolate

It will as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I run predominantly so that I can eat more naughty stuff. The rather sad reality being how far you have to run to actually burn off a delicious slice of cake…but still it gets me out the door and all the other benefits come to fore when I come back.

Today I’ve unexpectedly ran twice. Mark is bemoaning my ever extending morning routine…I’m trying to get to grips with more extensive make up basics having previously slapped a bit of foundation and mascara on in 2mins flat. The end result is definitely an improvement but Mark only noticed the time taken rather than the end look, and was more distracted by a bouncy Ernest puppy demanding energy release by charging about the van and play fighting with Jasper.

Thus it was decided the older pups would walk and Ernest would join me on a jog. I must say I love the waist lead and the feeling of being pulled along by him (when he goes in the right direction). I’m not tracking pace, but it feels easier and faster, though it might be an illusion.

My only hiccup was tripping over my own foot and landing in a prickly bush. I sprung back to my feet checking nobody had saw my embarrassing blunder before quickening my pace to get the run completed. It was only when I got home I realised I’d sliced the back of my leg open. Another running wound to add to my collection -I’m still missing toe nails from the marathon lol.

Back home and refueled with coffee, Mark and I decided to potter back into the city. Being a Monday a lot of the shops were closed which meant you could see more street art on the shutters.

We visited a small bakery and had an average vegan croissant but I wished we had waited at Aloha for the huge vegan snickers cake. My sweet tooth is getting worse lol

Returning home we took the pups back to the beach to play frisbee. Ernest is a much better retriever than Jasper, but all three were distracted by litter and kept trying to eat stuff on the beach. I’m praying they don’t have poorly tummies tomorrow. Mabel also found something gross to roll in 🙈

I then did a little of my calligraphy course and had a nap…I am so aware of how spoilt I am with this lifestyle! I have also become a binge audio book listener and having finished Animal by Sara Pascoe in two days, I today finished a second book Do No Harm by neurosurgeon Henry Marsh, which gives an interesting insight into the changes and challenges within the NHS.

The evenings can feel long cooped up in the van and we had hoped to go to a Spanish:English cafe conversation group tonight but were let down by the buses, so instead of lounging in bed I decided to tire Ernest out with a second run.

I’m following a kinetic revolution – return to running plan, and dutifully set up my interval timer to run 3min: walk 1min x 8. Trainers on, a free Mo Joe running podcast chatting away in my ear, and my brilliantly bright chest light guiding us (given I fell over in daylight, I didn’t hold up much hope for night running), off we went.

Obviously technology hates me and my timer got confused or stopped without telling me so 45mins later the time has flown and we have had such a surprisingly great 4 mile interval run, that involved mostly slow running but felt good. It’s so strange how some runs are euphoric and others can be a fraction of the distance and an absolute lead leg hell.

We returned home, Ernest a bit tired, me wide awake with the exercise dopamine hit. Mark made me choco tea and crackers for supper and I pondered how my knickers had managed to chafe my thigh as I ran…still at least I didn’t fall.

Tomorrow I’ve worked out my running route and I should be heading in the direction of the sunrise…if I run far enough I might even find a bakery to. I’m obviously presuming I can move in the morning and my legs aren’t seized up in horror after today’s exertion.

205-7 Valencia city of contrasts

Our travelling pace has slowed considerably and arriving late afternoon on the edge of Valencia we opted to wait until the morning to get the bus in and explore.

We were blessed by a bright day and chose to wander by Gulliver’s Park and the central district, seemingly circling the Central Market.

The streets around El Carmen district are colourful with street art and small shops. A large wedding was taking place with glamorous guests pouring out into the square for photos, and a few yards down the roads we heard cannon fire, something that startled a couple of women causing them to run… unaware of the wedding and instinctively fearing the worse.

We had lunch at Aloha – a small vegan take away…you order and return 20mins later to pick it up and there are multiple small squares to sit and eat in the sun. It’s a lovely city to mooch in, and you can easily potter the time away.

The only draw back to mention is the very relaxed attitude towards time. The printed bus schedule declared buses come every 20-40…but it’s complete pot luck when or if a bus will appear. We waited 25mins for 1 bus, 45mins for another that didn’t arrive, the third was 20min late and the fourth only 10min late.

Having planned to head into the city to watch the football, when the bus failed to arrive, Mark was most put out to miss the game. He returned back to the van in a foul mood to find me hand sewing my holey jumper and listening to a female confidence course. So he ignored my course and I ignored his football commentary 🤣 Part of my course it’s taking more time over my appearance, so my morning routine is taking even long as I get to grips with new make up stuff like highlighter and eyeliner…seriously how ever do you do those eye wing things! Also flab has bust the buttons on my only jeans so I have to sew them back on, lose weight again or just wear baggy jumpers to hide the missing buttons 🙈 Oh darn my sweet tooth!

Today we explored the futuristic science park. The architecture is so striking and beautiful makes up a series of beautiful buildings – a IMAX cinema, aquarium, science museum and garden arches.

We were tempted to visit the aquarium as it has a cafe surrounded by water tanks so you can eat with sharks and fish swimming past. However we found the queues huge, and they had whales and dolphins there which we aren’t comfortable supporting.

Instead we went to the interactive science museum which amused us for several hours. They had various exhibitions including the brains language learning skills, and one on Mars exploration. Mark is hoping to ‘marify’ doesn’t become a reality 🤣

This evening we moved the van to the beach and enjoyed a walk. Mabel having skipped previous walks rejoiced in the sand, rolling 10+ times and discovering a disgusting dead seagull. With no hurry to move on we could stay and enjoy the scenery, or travel further south…at some point we will need to decide where to spend xmas.

204 – Seaside Life Planning

Waking up to another rainy day, we decided to enjoy the stormy sea and stay put. The pups weren’t keen to wake up and I can happily lounge in bed with them waiting for a break in the weather, especially when I have a ton of coursework I’m expertly procrastinating over.

Beach life

When Jaspers sad face encouraged us to embrace the rain, the pups had a great run around and Ernest made friends with another puppy which burnt off a lot of energy.

Mark and I then popped to the supermarket and tried to find a cafe, eventually finding a nice basic one open where we tested out our Spanish. I’m trying my best to string basic sentences together as often as I can, and it typically raises a smile, even if it’s not completely correct.

Grub

If you are tucked up in the van there is definitely a temptation for comfort food, so we spoilt ourselves with homemade beans on toast for lunch (so easy – can of harrico beans, can of tomatoes, mixed herbs), lots of nibbles, a scrummy dinner of seitan burger with salad and a huge batch of homemade vegan rice pudding for dessert (love this recipe ).

Sorting out my day / life

After another long walk, where we spotted more strange sculpture, mosaics and an elephant, we played bananagrams and I finally sat down and scheduled my whole week.

It turns out, with the aim of bettering myself and learning new skills I’ve enrolled on a ridiculous number of courses many of which are topics I am fearfully uneducated in (web design, SEO, blogging naming the scariest). I’ve got a couple I’m more excited by (Phd research, nutrition, food & brain science, and a random calligraphy course so my journal looks pretty). But true to form I’ve not allowed myself to do the fun ones until I start the scary ones.

Add to this a neverending list of books, research papers, podcasts, and exercise challenges and the last couple of days I’ve felt so swamped I’ve avoided doing anything.

So yes, I sat down and scheduled everything – morning routine, food, van duties, coursework, exercise and bedtime routine…hopefully leaving enough time to travel, explore and get to a final winter destination. It’s all on my habit tracker app and planned ahead in my journal, so no excuses.

N.B. yes I’m aware it could be considered I’ve successfully procrastinated another evening away planning what I’m going to do rather than doing it 🤣🙈 Haha wish me luck with the new schedule 🤞

203 – Ghost towns

Just a quick one today, as its been pouring with rain and we’ve mostly been driving.

The highlight was trying out a new running waist spring lead with Ernest. After half a mile of being attached to a bouncing tiger, and being sporadically janked into trees and lampposts he seemed to get the hang of it and remained broadly straight and far enough in front not to be a tripping hazard. The fact that it began to pour down also meant he bolted for home, pulling me along as he hates the rain 🤣🐾

We are basically driving along the Spanish coast towards Valencia. We skipped Barcelona as we’ve been before and its known in the camper circles as bandit country due to high robbery rates and break ins. You will notice many of the camp spots reporting crimes and nasty tricks that encourage you to pull over before robbing you. Not the best side to spain.

It’s our first winter here and this evening we are camped in Oropesa del Mar with views of the stormy sea. What’s most striking is that similarly to last night there are masses of empty holiday lets and campsites. From our van we can see 6 tower blocks of flats and only two lights on. There are literally hundreds of empty properties. Ofcourse the reverse will be true in the summer, but at the moment it’s a ghost town.

And so another day largely in the van, more boggle, more Duolingo spanish lessons, more reading and podcasts. If you have any recommendations please let me know, I’m addicted to Audible lol

200-202 The surreal world of Dali

Given I used to manage an art gallery I thought I knew a lot of Dali’s artwork but on visiting the Dali Theatre Museum in Figueres, I realised just how varied and prolific he was.

It’s an absolute feast for the eyes with my favourites being his ink characters and watercolour war paintings, whereas my mum and husband both loved his rock women paintings.

We enjoyed a couple of hours, and though we expected to be there longer, I highly recommend it.

Having realised the roads were closed while a half marathon was in progress, we had a coffee, browsed the christmas market and I climbed a book sculpture because I like scaring my hubby 🤣 (he has vertigo). Being in Catalan it was noticeable the large number of yellow flags and banners calling for the safe release of political prisoners.

On Sunday and Monday most of the shops are shut, so we had a quiet afternoon…yes you guessed it, playing games. We also added a fun decal to our van that really marks it out as ours. A huge thank you to Norwich artist Dan Saunders for creating it, based on a photo we provided. If ever you see us parked, do give a knock and I will happily pop the kettle on and have a natter (my Open Door Traveller scheme sign is typically on the dashboard).

201 – Fond Farewell & 202 – Dali’s Castle

With news of strikes and fuel shortages, parents thought it best to start heading back north through France to catch their ferry. I’d done my typical excessive route planning research so that had plenty of route options but with no internet, they instead have a paper map with highlighted dots lol #oldschool.

In contrast Mark and I first went west to Besalu to see the villages bridge…there isn’t much else there, before changing tack and going south to Pubol.

Pubol is tiny, maybe 20 houses, the only notable one being Casa-Museu Salvador Dalí. The castle residence Dali renovated for his wife and muse Gala. It’s a wonderful glimpse into their life together and poignant that she is buried on site.

Interestingly the catacomb is prepared for Dali to rest beside her, but he changed his mind and is buried in Figueres.

We had to wait until Tuesday morning for the museum to open, and there is nothing…not even a cafe in the village. The perk of it being so deserted was that we could play frisbee with the pups in the free carpark.

To pass the time I’ve done lots of food prep and went a bit crazy with Cyber Monday deals on learning courses. To be honest we are both looking forward to settling in one place for a while and focusing on different projects. I can’t believe we have visited 22 countries in 6 months, the time has flown!

We are going to do a lot of driving over the next few days, but tonight’s camp spot is right next to the beach at Port Roma. Mabel even sneaked a forbidden roll in the sand. Sadly no dogs allowed on the beach, so they had to make do with the little promenade.

197-199 – Vin yards & Light Shows

Apologies, its catch up time. My parents came to visit and my evenings have been a wonderful mix of board game family time. I was also hit hard with the blues for a couple of days, but that fortunately lifted for our mock xmas today!

Yesterday we took the pups to an old quarry called Les Carrières du Bon Temps not far from Nime which has a series of short walking trails. It’s nice being able to let the pups off their leads to properly chase about. They weren’t really tired enough though as we tested 4 adults and 5 dogs in a single van, it was mayhem with Ernest trying to rape Frodo (labrador) and Elsa (lhasa apso) telling them to all bugger off. Fortunately they calmed down long enough for coffee and xmas cake.

We then drove on to a wonderful women led vineyard Château de Fourques EARL, it’s been past down the female line for 4 generations. We had a lazy afternoon playing games and sleeping before a quick wine tasting of their produce and a trip into Montpellier to see their evening light show and xmas market.

Key landmarks around the city were lit up in time to music, and the three day event was hugely popular; the streets were heaving. It was certainly a nice way to wander and see the sites in an unusual and striking way. Mum stayed behind to rest her sore feet and swears all the dogs behaved themselves whilst cuddled on the bed with her.

198 – Where did the day go?

I was so slow getting my arse in gear, I’ve no clue where the day went. Certainly we had a late lunch hunting for a place to stop (so many of the car parks have height barriers, its very hard to park near attractions which meant we had to drive through Sete and Anges, and instead continue until we found an official campsite in Saint Marie Le Mer. It was just a carpark with extra paid facilities (annoys me…stupid timed showers), but it had both a bio and standard supermarket nearby so we stocked up on lots of yummies. Parents introduced us to Rummikub and we both love it (it’s not maths so I needn’t have worried lol), and a fun geography game which proved I still can’t remember half the places I’ve been and have no clue about the places I’ve yet to visit 🙈🤣

199 – Yay Fake Xmas!

With parents leaving tomorrow we decided to have a fake mini xmas today. Its basically an excuse to eat wonderful roast and play more games. Santa knocked on my window in the morning with fresh pastries from the bakery which I scoffed in bed with a cup of tea.

Mark saved his having already had breakfast but this proved fatal as the pups found it and snaffled it while we were out. Wow was Mark in a bad mood! 😱 The morning was chores – food shop, trying out mums mini Hoover (her van is much better equipped but my hand sweep works just as well lol), making nut roast, flag stickers on van, failed attempt to pressure wash van, fixing toilet). We then had coffee and ate the last if the xmas cake (cheered Mark up) and drove on to the tiny village of Cabanes in Spain.

Oddest bit of this journey was seeing all the working girls evidently dropped off at regular intervals along the main road. Stood in knickers, cropped jackets and pleasers at 2pm on a Saturday. I’m not sure what protection they get but hope they are safe.

On our little campsite there is a central green and the dogs had a great time chasing balls and each other. We played itchy feet and ghost blitz before prepping xmas dinner. Mark and I wandered into the village and tested our Spanish lessons trying to buy more ingredients – my brain is still mixing up several languages, but we muddled through 🤣

The roast was an epic success, and great team effort. I can’t believe we lasted 6 months without a roast dinner and proper apple crumble. After another evening of Rummikub, we are all snuggled up with hot chocolate feeling content. Our mock xmas was perfect family time.

196 – Parents brought xmas with them!

As December fast approaches there are two types of people:

Mrs Claus aka Maria – sad about not having a xmas tree, googled creative ways to decorate your van, wondering what santa is up to (visited his house and reindeer in Finland during the summer, but he also lives in Wales with my nan), bought presents for our dogs and dug out their xmas bandanas, doubly excited as Ernest is a boxing day baby!

Scrooge aka Markles – was relieved to be largely avoiding xmas, only good thing is the xmas cake.

To tip the balance hugely in my favour my parents arrived with xmas cake, presents for the dogs, decorations and the cutest little tree 😄🎄

I’m so happy slowly morphing the van into a mini grotto. I’ve been colouring in tiny bunting, making stars, putting up lights, and day dreaming about xmas dinner. I even have a little gift under my tree from my bestie Gail who smuggled it across with my mum – bless you! Mark is less thrilled though he did eat the delicious cake – thanks so much Beverley!

Pont du Gard

In non xmas related news, we have had a lovely day. In the morning we took the pups for a walk around Pont du Gard, which is Frances most visited ancient site. It’s an impressive aquaduct bridge comprising 3 tiered arches set in lovely surroundings so it’s easy to while away an hour or two.

We then got the camping chairs out and had coffee and xmas cake in the carpark whilst enjoying the sun. Considering I started the day in coat and scarf, it warmed up wonderfully.

Nime

In the afternoon we parked up at a huge city edge shopping centre. This enabled Mark and my dad to bus into the centre to visit the ancient sites in Nime, and for mum and I to potter the shops and get some food in.

Mum made a scrumptious veggie shepherds pie, and I made a fragrant vegan rice pudding (our first of both since April!). Parents van has hot water, so I washed my hair…ah the luxury! (our pump still broke). And while the parents and I were colouring in tree bunting, poor Markles was doing a finance chore…though I think that was his preference 🤣